Stephen Colbert recaps Trump's inauguration, declares 'airport rules'

"For the next four years we get to live by airport rules."
By  on 
Stephen Colbert presents the Late Show
Watch Next

"It happened. Donald Trump is president again."

Stephen Colbert pushed his Late Show audience back into the known unknown on Monday night, following Trump's inauguration as the 47th President of the United States.

"I have an important announcement to make," Colbert began his monologue. "For the next four years we get to live by airport rules. Calories don't count and it’s perfectly reasonable to have a vodka tonic at 8am."

Colbert recapped the viral moments from the inauguration, including Trump not touching the Bible during his presidential oath, and Trump's speech including the "Gulf of America" and Mars promises. Of course, like the internet, Colbert noticed the particularly memeable outfit choice of First Lady Melania Trump: "Melania Trump made a real statement with her look. That statement? I am Carmen Sandiego."

But it's Colbert's conclusion that really captured the moment:

"Today represents, I believe, a turning point, turning page for all Americans. Whether you supported Trump or not, no matter how much we think we know what’s going to happen over the next four years, we don’t know. We all have to look at the president with fresh eyes and let go of all the things that he did during his first term and look to the future… FUCK IT! He told us to inject bleach and I still believe there’s a pee pee tape! Russia, if you're listening, let the 'Golden Age' begin."

For more big moments from Trump's inauguration, Mashable's got you covered.

A black and white image of a person with a long braid and thick framed glasses.
Shannon Connellan

Shannon Connellan is Mashable's UK Editor based in London, formerly Mashable's Australia Editor, but emotionally, she lives in the Creel House. A Tomatometer-approved critic, Shannon writes about everything (but not anything) across entertainment, tech, social good, science, and culture. Especially Australian horror.


Latest Videos

'Lilo and Stitch' trailer brings the iconic duo to live action
Stitch and Lilo in "Lilo & Stitch."


'Poker Face' Season 2 teaser: Natasha Lyonne tangles with Cynthia Erivo, John Mulaney, and more
Natasha Lyonne in "Poker Face."



John Mulaney surprises Jimmy Kimmel with a very niche gift
A man sits on a talk show opposite the host, touching something on the desk covered in black cloth. Another man is seen on a video call via a smartphone held by the host.



From 'Mickey 17' to 'Companion' and 'Babygirl', which movies are worth your time?
A screenshot of a critics' panel discussion from the TV show "Talking Pictures"

John Lithgow and Geoffrey Rush reveal their character inspirations for 'The Rule of Jenny Pen'
'The Rule of Jenny Pen'
The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox.
These newsletters may contain advertising, deals, or affiliate links. By clicking Subscribe, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Thanks for signing up. See you at your inbox!